That moment when you feel like shouting out, “I’m not an alien! I’m only human.” Exasperating isn’t it when you feel you must remind people that you’re not an alien? I remember one time when I almost scrum those words out loud, but being the lady that I am, I chose not to although deep down on the inside of me a different state of being was taking place.
After having made a mistake, or several mistakes, it occurred to me that often times people regard me very highly and wouldn’t expect me to make an error of judgement or forget a tiny detail, maybe because they’ve forgotten that I’m not an alien, I’m only human like they are! As unlikely as it may seem, I do make mistakes or forget and overlook things, although not deliberately. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying this to excuse tardiness but to remind you that I’m not an alien, I’m only human! 🤭kkkk
How do you handle frustrating scenarios?
How do you remain composed when everything in you is kicking and screaming ‘injustice’?
Do you really need to remind people that you’re human? At times you do hey especially when an injustice has been dished generously in your plate and you’re expected to just take it! Be it in a family discourse, a discussion at work, while in a shop, or anywhere else, if you feel like you’re being treated unfairly do speak up and try to be polite and as composed as possible so your emotions don’t get the better of you.
At times I wish I was an alien from outta space, seemingly clueless about the going-ons on earth but exuding superior knowledge, power and understanding of life. Go ahead and laugh, it’s hilarious isn’t it? Well, at least we’ve laughed together about this!!
Anyways, my encouragement to you dear friend is be kindest to you coz you’ll make mistakes, an error of judgement here, or a costly assumption there, either way you don’t know it all but make every effort to know as much as you can in any given situation. Evaluate those frustrating situations and ask yourself, ‘How else can I do or consider this?’, and repeatedly ask ‘Why?’ until you get to the root cause. It’s a process indeed, but a worthwhile one. Try it out and let me know how it goes. Until next time; be kinder to you and to other fellow non-alien beings and remember, #balanceispossible!!! Drop me an email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Photo creds: Lukas Denier, Priscilla Du-Preez and Mark Adriane (Unsplash)
I rushed into his office and there he was sitting with his team having a brainstorming session for their upcoming Community Outreach. Everyone turned to look at me clutching my laptop and notebook and I froze! I didn’t say a word out loud as I thought to myself, “I can’t do this to him!” I stumbled out of his office onto the pavement and blindly walked away as quickly as my feet could carry me.
While deep in thought, I felt a warm hand on my lower back and his gentle voice whispered in my ear, “Penny for your thoughts?” froze, smiled, heart beating fast; didn’t expect him to follow me like this; gentle kind eyes melted the icy feeling on the inside and I stopped, breathing stabilized then I mumbled a lame joke. He held onto my lower back…skin tingling, butterflies in my stomach; maximum scintillation.. “I’ll walk you to your car. Where are you off to? Actually, I’ll go there with you!” that was final!… and then I woke up to the sound of birds chirping away, signalling the start of a brand new day. At times reality sucks!
What triggered such vivid imagery in this brilliant mind of mine? Well, I don’t know hey, but all I know is that I woke up with a smile on my face thinking to myself, “I’m lovable and not only did I get his attention, but he spent the whole afternoon with me, despite his super busy schedule, especially at this time of the year! Although it was a dream, it felt so real!” Well, well, sometimes we doubt our worth as life’s overwhelming situations present themselves, however, how refreshing it is when our minds remind us of our worth. Hope that puts a smile on your face too, knowing you’re worthy of all the love, affection, tenderness and love, especially from yourself.
More often than not, we look externally for validation from our parents, family, church, work colleagues and associates, at times even from strangers. That human need for acknowledgement, or an insatiable hunger for some, is so real and is a part of who we are as humans. What really drives one to crave attention? Could it be the need for acceptance? Whatever the reason, remember acceptance is key to sustainable relationships with others.
Accept your past
Accept your mistakes, regrets add no value to your current life
Accept others for who they are, everyone wants to be recognized for who they are
Accept that you have limited control in life
Accept you have limited time
Accept that you will fail, failure is the first step to success. The ultimate goal is to become the best version of yourself
Accept that you control your future, how you respond to situations is your choice
Accept change: everything is constantly changing. As humans we like the norm. Let go of your hold on permanence.
Accept your need for social approval: we all desire to gain approval and social acceptance from peers and/or communities.
Accept that there will be suffering in life: pain is inevitable, but suffering us optional
Accept things as they are for what they are: resist the urge to want to control everything. It takes humility and openness to accept things
(Acceptance notes above are an excerpt from the video ‘12 Things You Must Accept to Live A Good Life’ by Naimat Ahmed: linktr.ee/naimatahmed)
I hope you find value in the reminders above and accept that you’re an awesome, creative, progressive, powerful, valuable human being and that you’re well equipped to face life head-on and remember #balanceispossible!
How do you ‘soldier on’ in the midst of adverse conditions, situations or circumstances?
How do you overlook issues and remain ‘sane’?
How do you shut the noise out and find some form of balance?
There is no one formula to life and responding to life’s challenges and situations, however the danger is to stay in the “I’m so stuck” lane as it may then be difficult to see things and life in a different way.
Indeed, change is uncomfortable, scary, unpredictable. As humans we generally love our comforts and the danger of that is being attached to your comfort zone as this deters your growth in more than one way. Change means that we must deviate from the norm as we are thrust into the zone of discomfort and uncertainty. In this zone our emotions can ring louder than reason, where our mind becomes a battlefield and we’re potentially thrown out of balance.
As difficult as it may sound, we must not lose hope but rather, let’s keep the hope up by learning and embracing new habits, putting the new information we get to practice, staying connected with others in as many ways as possible, writing down our dreams and plans, and having a positive mindset. Read more books that will draw you more towards hope, growth and moving forward. Be part of various online communities that speak to your value as an individual. And, remember, #balanceispossible!!
I have come to appreciate that hope is my anchor and without hope I am nothing. Hope energizes, hope gives life. Having hope means having an expectation of positive outcomes. What are you hoping for?
As we ponder on the many things we’re currently faced with and the many things we’d like to achieve in this great year of 2021, let us remember this: we’ve been here before! How many times did you set new year’s resolutions only for them to wilt and wither, long forgotten deep in the forest of your subconscious mind?
We’ve been here before: in various lockdowns as the Covid19 pandemic spiked and went down but didn’t go away. We feared, we worried, we hoarded, we avoided, we calmed down, we survived, we cried as we buried loved ones, neighbours and friends.
We’ve been here before: fresh produce perished, some goods were lost in transit, businesses closed while some new ventures sprouted, we experienced delays. We complained, we adjusted, we adapted, did online trainings, got encouraged and enthused, re-focused and re-energized.
For those of us in Zimbabwe, so much hope and excitement was in the year as we ended 2020, little did we know that the Covid19 wave would hit us harder as we entered the new year. Lockdown was effected once again, and we found ourselves back in that cycle again. We’ve been here before and we learnt a lot of lessons like a few below:
Prepare for the unpredictable by being ready to embrace a new, positive mindset that chooses to ignore the noise and soldier on
Death has no prior notice and doesn’t announce itself or give you time to prepare, adjust or adapt
Maintaining good relationships matters as these will put you over, support and sustain you when the chips are down
Never say never
We are stronger than we give ourselves credit
What will you do differently this year? Let me know in ‘comments’ below. Thanks and great day to you!
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”
― Steve Maraboli
Hello and welcome back! I hope you are well and still on your quest of #findingbalance. Life is amazing indeed and try as we may, we cannot totally fathom it or label it as one thing. The best we can do is try to understand who we are, where we are, whose we are, what we are doing/pursuing/hoping to achieve and where we are going.
Life is a series of change, the kind of series that ends when we die and yet another series then begins for those who remain after we’re gone. Change is a complex experience that often leads to transformation.
Whether we are ready for it or not, change happens to us and one of the ways to handle change is to do what Steve Maraboli says, “..decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” This means taking stock of your life and identifying what are the things you have power to control and the things that are beyond your control. Another saying goes like this: “You cannot keep birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair”. You and I always have a choice to make, taking control is one of them.
One of the terms used to describe balance is “self-control”. Self-control is the ability to control oneself, in particular one’s emotions and desires, especially in difficult situations. As we continue in our pursuit of #findingbalance, let us be mindful of our ability to exercise self-control in a bid to embrace the changes we face.
For today I’ll end here with this question: what do you have the power to control? Till next time, do take care of and be kind to yourself and those around you bearing in mind that they are also trying to find balance.
So many things throw us off-balance and most of them are very subtle, like relationships, the death of a loved one, illness, having to relocate, and our emotions. At times we are the most rational human beings to ever grace this earth, while at other times we are the most irrational beings when our emotions get the better of us. Can you remember those moments when your emotions got the better of you? Finding balance is a continuous journey of constantly being aware, acceptance, asking questions, soul-searching, seeking counsel, embracing and rejecting, forgiving yourself and others too.
Make time to literally take a walk in your mind and heart and identify areas you need to work on, improve and change, what you need to start or stop doing. For example, your attitude towards a certain individual or life in general.
Over the past few weeks I have had to wade through a lot of emotional baggage and get to the heart of things, and what a process that has been! I am grateful to God for the privilege to do this. Although its still an on-going process, I feel lighter after having identified some pain-points and coming up with winning ways. You can do the same too if you are willing to embrace who you are, where you are, examine how you got there and work out how you will tackle the issues at hand. If I could do it, so can you!
I hope you learnt something and found something of value that you can use in your quest of finding balance. Until next time, take care, be present and love on you!
Ever been to that point in life where it feels like you’ve gone full circle but your life doesn’t have much significance in comparison to your friends, colleagues, former school-mates, etc? You begin to question your very existence:
Why am I here?
Why is my life literally stuck in a place I don’t want to be?
How did I get here?
How did life deteriorate to this point?
What could I have done better or avoided?
As I write I feel like my life is out of balance in many regards and I intend to sift through the muck, wade through the emotional turmoil until I get to that place of balance where my perception of life, myself and others is refreshed and totally transformed. There’s gotta be more to life and I’m gonna pursue it with everything in me!!
I realize that I am responsible for where I am right now and as much as I may want to shift some blame on ‘other things/people’ it all comes down to yours truly. No matter how out-of-balance you may feel, that can change, as do all facts, if you diligently apply the right tools, knowledge and resources to bring about the change you desire. Will it be easy? NO! Is it absolutely worth it? YES! YES! YES! Thank you for your time, until next time do take care!!
Sometimes life throws curve-balls at us at the most unexpected times through events that shake us to the very core or our being, leaving us wondering whether we’re coming or going and feeling like we’ve been turned inside out and thrown out of balance. Join me, Nozibelo Mpofu, as I walk you through what Finding Balance means to me and hopefully you’ll find meaning, help, inspiration, encouragement and the courage to either start or continue in your quest of Finding Balance.