Finding Balance by Nozibelo Mpofu

Ever felt like your mind was scrambled like scrambled eggs, your thoughts seemingly all over the shore but actually all intact in your mind 🤯?

That’s how I’ve been feeling lately and it led me to search within myself why this was so. At times we become overwhelmed by the vicissitudes of life that tower higher than Mount Kilimanjaro and seem insurmountable; key word being ‘seem’. Being human and experiencing life on this side of eternity is quite the adventure full of highs and lows and the in-between.

Many a time we’ve heard the saying, “things aren’t always what they seem”, often used in self defense to avoid character annihilation. Whatever the case may be, it is true that things aren’t always what they seem, for example, a mirage in the middle of the road on a hot summer day may seem to be a puddle of water up ahead, yet when you get to the spot you don’t find any water and realize it was just a mirage.

Back to feeling like a scatterbrain…, a scatterbrain, by definition, is a person who is forgetful, disorganized, or unable to concentrate or think clearly (@Meriam-Webster.com). The last part of this definition: ‘unable to concentrate or think clearly’ is what had me wondering whether I’d become a scatterbrain 🤯. Relax my friend, turns out I’m not a scatterbrain even though it kinda felt like I was for a moment, or maybe I convinced myself that I was one🤔?

As I write to you dear friend, my state of mind is clearer and not of the scatterbrain kind 😅, as I managed to take some time out to unscramble my thoughts, emotions and beliefs. It’s amazing what we discover about ourselves when we make the time to explore what’s going on in our souls. At times the discoveries will scare us, but what is exposed is duly dealt with and either discarded, or put in the right place.

Friend, I hope you will make the time to examine your thoughts, emotions and beliefs as you focus on your mental well-being, and remember that #balanceispossible

Thank you for your time and attention 👏👏👏

Sometimes people want to confine us to the image they have of us, but that’s neither fair nor practical especially when that image is not in sync with your self-image. For example, someone may tell you that the lipstick you’re wearing is too dark and doesn’t suit you, or is not suitable for your complexion! Like seriously???? Where do they get off telling you what lip colour to put on?

As a woman, while its important to know which colours suit your complexion, there’s no harm in trying out new things that may actually suit you more than what someone else prescribed as ideal.

Beyond lip colour, I wanted to encourage you to be confident in yourself, go after what you feel is right for you and own it! Be comfortable in your own skin by owning your choices and the decisions you make as you exercise your God-given right of choice.

We all make our choices, including choosing not to choose – that’s also a choice hey! Remember that it may not always be possible to balance your right to make choices with the expectations or opinions of others, especially those that are close to you. However, that should not hinder you from making the choices you need to make.

Striking a balance in any given situation may be challenging and may not always be immediately possible, but it surely is possible and may require patience. At times that may mean agreeing to disagree, shifting your focus or perception, accepting, or rather, acknowledging the other person’s point of view. Bottom line is #balanceispossible😉

So, how do you #findbalance in the various situations life throws your way? Is it always possible to strike that balance? Do share your thoughts in the Comments section below, and thank you for taking the time to read through.

That moment when you feel like shouting out, “I’m not an alien! I’m only human.” Exasperating isn’t it when you feel you must remind people that you’re not an alien? I remember one time when I almost scrum those words out loud, but being the lady that I am, I chose not to although deep down on the inside of me a different state of being was taking place.

After having made a mistake, or several mistakes, it occurred to me that often times people regard me very highly and wouldn’t expect me to make an error of judgement or forget a tiny detail, maybe because they’ve forgotten that I’m not an alien, I’m only human like they are! As unlikely as it may seem, I do make mistakes or forget and overlook things, although not deliberately. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying this to excuse tardiness but to remind you that I’m not an alien, I’m only human! 🤭kkkk

How do you handle frustrating scenarios?

How do you remain composed when everything in you is kicking and screaming ‘injustice’?

Do you really need to remind people that you’re human? At times you do hey especially when an injustice has been dished generously in your plate and you’re expected to just take it! Be it in a family discourse, a discussion at work, while in a shop, or anywhere else, if you feel like you’re being treated unfairly do speak up and try to be polite and as composed as possible so your emotions don’t get the better of you.

At times I wish I was an alien from outta space, seemingly clueless about the going-ons on earth but exuding superior knowledge, power and understanding of life. Go ahead and laugh, it’s hilarious isn’t it? Well, at least we’ve laughed together about this!!

Anyways, my encouragement to you dear friend is be kindest to you coz you’ll make mistakes, an error of judgement here, or a costly assumption there, either way you don’t know it all but make every effort to know as much as you can in any given situation. Evaluate those frustrating situations and ask yourself, ‘How else can I do or consider this?’, and repeatedly ask ‘Why?’ until you get to the root cause. It’s a process indeed, but a worthwhile one. Try it out and let me know how it goes. Until next time; be kinder to you and to other fellow non-alien beings and remember, #balanceispossible!!! Drop me an email: nozimpofu@gmail.com

Photo creds: Lukas Denier, Priscilla Du-Preez and Mark Adriane (Unsplash)

I rushed into his office and there he was sitting with his team having a brainstorming session for their upcoming Community Outreach. Everyone turned to look at me clutching my laptop and notebook and I froze! I didn’t say a word out loud as I thought to myself, “I can’t do this to him!” I stumbled out of his office onto the pavement and blindly walked away as quickly as my feet could carry me.

While deep in thought, I felt a warm hand on my lower back and his gentle voice whispered in my ear, “Penny for your thoughts?” froze, smiled, heart beating fast; didn’t expect him to follow me like this; gentle kind eyes melted the icy feeling on the inside and I stopped, breathing stabilized then I mumbled a lame joke. He held onto my lower back…skin tingling, butterflies in my stomach; maximum scintillation.. “I’ll walk you to your car. Where are you off to? Actually, I’ll go there with you!” that was final!… and then I woke up to the sound of birds chirping away, signalling the start of a brand new day. At times reality sucks!

What triggered such vivid imagery in this brilliant mind of mine? Well, I don’t know hey, but all I know is that I woke up with a smile on my face thinking to myself, “I’m lovable and not only did I get his attention, but he spent the whole afternoon with me, despite his super busy schedule, especially at this time of the year! Although it was a dream, it felt so real!” Well, well, sometimes we doubt our worth as life’s overwhelming situations present themselves, however, how refreshing it is when our minds remind us of our worth. Hope that puts a smile on your face too, knowing you’re worthy of all the love, affection, tenderness and love, especially from yourself.

More often than not, we look externally for validation from our parents, family, church, work colleagues and associates, at times even from strangers. That human need for acknowledgement, or an insatiable hunger for some, is so real and is a part of who we are as humans. What really drives one to crave attention? Could it be the need for acceptance? Whatever the reason, remember acceptance is key to sustainable relationships with others.

Accept yourself

Accept your past

Accept your mistakes, regrets add no value to your current life

Accept others for who they are, everyone wants to be recognized for who they are

Accept that you have limited control in life

Accept you have limited time

Accept that you will fail, failure is the first step to success. The ultimate goal is to become the best version of yourself

Accept that you control your future, how you respond to situations is your choice

Accept change: everything is constantly changing. As humans we like the norm. Let go of your hold on permanence.

Accept your need for social approval: we all desire to gain approval and social acceptance from peers and/or communities.

Accept that there will be suffering in life: pain is inevitable, but suffering us optional

Accept things as they are for what they are: resist the urge to want to control everything. It takes humility and openness to accept things

(Acceptance notes above are an excerpt from the video ‘12 Things You Must Accept to Live A Good Life’ by Naimat Ahmed: linktr.ee/naimatahmed)

I hope you find value in the reminders above and accept that you’re an awesome, creative, progressive, powerful, valuable human being and that you’re well equipped to face life head-on and remember #balanceispossible!